Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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