does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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