Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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