It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
