yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
