Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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