A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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