so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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