What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it's like iHOP with fire
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
