Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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