Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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