I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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