Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
