she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize