Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
