You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
