Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
