I wish I could punch you in the face.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.