I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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