When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
