I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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