You just made me feel so damn special
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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