I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
two words: eviction party
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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