my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
