Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
