I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
