I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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