Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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