it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
