if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
