then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
