I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We have so much sex to catch up on
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
