just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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