Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
