I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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