Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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