your thong is hanging out like whoa
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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