You just made me feel so damn special
Pappa wants mamma naked
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
