4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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