how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize