she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
