Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
