R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
