Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have post one night stand depression
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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