so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
