I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize