he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
