Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.

Fav 7 1634 774
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

Fav 11 1420 3871
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.

Fav 19 7414 915
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.

Fav 13 5825 1455
share tweet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(712): View more from Iowa

it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

Fav 14 3946 1672
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.

(303): View more from Colorado

well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you

Fav 12 1255 4953
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

Fav 37 14124 1683
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(308): View more from Nebraska

So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

Fav 5 720 992
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.

Fav 1 183 396
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT