Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.