Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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