Where is the hickey?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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