SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize