Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
