She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found puke in my bra..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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