It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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