I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My balls are so social today.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
