your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
