I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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