its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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