I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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