I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
