My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
