I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
