i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
