This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
