Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
