i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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